Pune for Dummies

The six point guide to enriching your Pune experience:

1. When looking to imbibe the true essence of Pune, it is best for one to look out for a couple of local low-lifes to show you around. Preferably ones equipped with transportation, gatorade and a morbid sense of humour. Once they're done with you, Pune's ugly underbelly will never have looked as good.

2. Travelling around Pune is a stress-free experience. There are a few rules to follow though, to ensure your own safety, and that of others.
First rule: Never hesitate when looking to switch lanes, or you may confuse fellow motorists and cause an accident.
Second Rule: Try not to hit anything.

3. Are you the sort that doesn't fit in? Do you ever wonder if there's anyone out there who's as freakishly weird as you? If the answer to these questions is 'yes' (or if you're fond of yak cheese and coffee cream cake), then German Bakery is the place for you. It is here that one may talk about sex, drugs and rock n' roll freely without the guy at the other table casting suspicious glances in your direction. Well, maybe not rock n' roll. But...you get the picture.

4. Pune has no amusement parks. However, if you're the thrill seeking variety, you may just enjoy speeding along the one-way M.G.Road in the opposite direction. This may not evoke too many reactions from passers-by, but is a fun experience nonetheless. And if really adventurous, one may try the same exercise during the hours that M.G.Road is a pedestrian plaza. Direction is immaterial in this case.

5. Do you love shopping for clothes? For the latest in high fashion, do visit the road side fashion plaza that adorns the wall outside Sassoon Hospital.

6. It is not uncommon for tourists in Pune to be unable to come to terms with some of the city's quirks. The consequences are known to be serious in some cases. So as a word of caution, when anything that you see or hear seems inexplicable, take a deep breath, and say aloud, "This Is Pune" (TIP).

Bon Voyage.

Comments

Anonymous said…
heya! rolling on the floor with laughter (uh...well...almost)

morbid sense of humour is sooo well put!!

hopefully my fellow 'low life' shall comment sooner rather than later. we're kinda busy these days attending private surgical clinics so highly top secret that i ain't even sure if i should be mentioning them here. if you're wondering what clandestine clinics i am talking of...well, all i can say...TIP! hope to see you on saturday though (this is turning into more of an email rather than a comment at this rate)

BTW, you forgot one key ingredient that adds so much spice tp pune: you forget to pay homage to our very own resident goddess...'da bomb'...though i guess you'd need an entire blog dedicated to her to make her happy...high maintenance, she is :P ;)

p.s. ok now i had better prepare to be burnt on the stakes by sheetal. hoping she doesn't see this.
Anupam Pande said…
dude! i hereby confirm that all the stuff in this post is the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
but you gotta hand it to pune.. it has this hold on you.. it keeps pulling you back in!
.... lowlife no. 2 (the one with the gatorade)
Anupam Pande said…
Referring to point no.1....
if i was the one equipped with transportation, gatorade and a morbid sense of humour, where does kar come into the picture?
Arjun said…
well i did take a short ride in kar's car (that sounded strange: "kar's car") too...and his humour is potentially morbid as well....hence the generalisation....as for gatorade, well thats better not talked about at all lol
Onyma said…
so true! you've imbibed the essence alright! I dare say you might even be ready for the Next Step. Remind Kar to give you a guided tour of the sundry 'peths', the intriguingly located circus-under-joshi-pul and the jatras we try and pass off as amusement the next time.

p.s.: Kar, asking for condiments on the side is Not high maintenance
Anonymous said…
condiments? did you by any chance mean condoms?
Onyma said…
I wouldn't want those on the side
Deepika said…
Niiiice one!!! long time no see!! pls blog more!!!
Unknown said…
hahah!!!

When i recently visited Pune (4 the 1st time i was SHOCKEDD!!

The only rule of the road is = there is no rule ....!!!

Your write well ,,, may be you should blog more often!

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